And thanks especially to the people who did not try to give me advice and instead just gave love... it's the best gift!!!!
i know when people are giving advice they are trying to be helpful, loving, and supportive, which i truly do appreciate, and at the same time, the reality is that it mostly just makes me kind of roll my eyes (not meaning to be rude and ungrateful--just being completely honest and transparent)... as if somehow i have not already thought about or know these things... it feels a little patronizing... even though i know truly that people are only trying to be loving and supportive, and i can not say enough how much i appreciate that.
i am the same way... i soooooo want to help people that i find myself giving advice oftentimes when it is not what is needed at all. So often when we are having a difficult or painful time, we just need to express, share, and feel heard, seen, witnessed, and loved-- not fixed. i am guilty of the same thing so often, and when i catch myself doing it, i apologize to the person.
They are not asking for me to impart some deep, gem of my all-knowing wisdom.
They are merely sharing and expressing about their experiences and feelings.
They want to feel witnessed.
To truly be of support in those moments, the best gift i can offer is just to express my care and love and FEEL what they are feeling vs. trying to help fix them and their feelings.
In workshops, i sometimes facilitate a process of this for people. It's DEEP what it brings up for both the person sharing and the person holding loving, deep listening space.
So, this is my unasked for "advice" for those who read my posts ;) ... i invite you to reconsider what it looks like to be supportive of people you care for who are going through a challenging time.
Consider instead of needing to impart wisdom or fix, that rather the very best gift we might offer is our empathic and loving heart that feels what they are feeling and acknowledges their feelings and lets them know that we are there for them if they might need or want anything more.
Thease are my unasked for 2 cents worth...
But since this is indeed my blog... this is actually about saying and sharing whatever the heck i want, need, or whatever...
If it serves, then wonderful...
If not, feel free to compost, vs. throwing it away
so it might find another way to serve....
Love and Gratitude,
PS.... and Thank You as well to those who thought i needed money to be busted out of some "prison" in some country some where ;) i am safe. i am on my way to my next place. And no, i did not go through this experience because i was "in love" with someone or ANYTHING even remotely like that! It makes me giggle some of the interpretations of what i share. ;)